Alyssa Scott celebrated what would have been the first birthday of her and Nick Cannon’s son, Zen Cannon. The Wild ‘N Out model shared a video collage and sweet message in honor of her late baby.

“Happy heavenly birthday Zen,” Alyssa wrote to her son on Thursday (Jun. 23). “At the root of all the emotions I have today there is insurmountable love,” Scott wrote online. “I always try my best to remain positive but right now I can’t help but cry out, ‘It’s not suppose to be like this,'” Alyssa admitted.

Zen Cannon died in December due to complications related to a brain tumor. The little one was 5-months-old and battled the condition from at least 2-months-old. Alyssa Scott and Nick Cannon did everything to save their son. The celebrity parents and doctors, however, were not able to reverse the effects of Zen’s condition.

“I often think about your voice,” Alyssa wrote to her son in February. “The sound of you saying, ‘I love you mom,'” Scott added. “Words I will never hear, but still feel to this day,” the model shared. “I often think about your voice,” Scott wrote to Zen. “The sound of you saying, ‘I love you mom.’ Words I will never hear, But still feel to this day.”

Alyssa imagined herself celebrating her son’s birthday with him physically present on Thursday. “In my mind I can see him smashing his cake and crawling around, tugging at my legs,” the Wild ‘N Out model shared. “But the reality is I will be the one to blow out his first candle. I will be wishing he was still here with us. GO REST HIGH.”

Zen was Alyssa Scott and Nick Cannon’s only child together. Scott also has a daughter from a previous relationship. Nick Cannon is expecting his eighth child to arrive in the coming days.

Photo: Alyssa Scott/Instagram