Unfortunately, when children are born, they do not have an accompanying instruction manual. It is up to the parents to find out how to raise their children to the best of their abilities. Celebrities are no different when it comes to figuring out how to raise their children. In an recent episode of Red Table Talk Jada and Willow Smith get candid about their relationship and the celebrity mother of two admits that she used “shame as a parenting tool.”
Research professor at the University of Houston guest Brene Brown said on the show that, “For children, shame is the threat of being unlovable. I think about the times where I’ve used shame with one of my children. And it’s the most devastating thing I can think of.”
Then Jada added that it is, “something we’re taught. I’m like, ‘Oh my god.’ I’m like, ‘I never even saw it that way.’ But I did really try, especially in raising Willow, in trying not to put shame around her social development. You know, trying to raise a young woman and what a young woman goes through, but not recognizing how detrimental that is. Using shame as a parenting tool,” Jada admitted.
“When I was younger, I would just get super emotional and like I get super emotional now,” Willow said. “But you would look at me and then you would just be like, ‘Yeah, you can like cry, but do it over there. Like go into your room and do it over there.’ Like you pushing me away for crying like I’m a bad person for crying.”
Yet, Willow responded to her mother, “I forgive you.”
Forgiveness and support seem to be a common theme in the mother/daughter relationship between Willow and Jada. The talented young star showed her unwavering support for her mother in the episode when they changed subjects and spoke about Jada’s entanglement with August Alsina.
“I want to put it on the table. I’m so proud of you,” Willow told her mom. “To be able to see you and Dad do that, for me, that was like, ‘OK, that’s the real deal. That’s real love.’ When you can be like, ‘I’m with you, I’m going to stand by you and I’m going to hold your hand because I love you.’ That’s really important.”
As the mother/daughter dynamic continues to grow, evolve, and change, we have no doubt that this pair is up for the journey and will do so with elegance, grace, forgiveness, and support.