For many adults, life is a whirlwind balancing act of todo lists, at best. As parents, that list can be multiplied and compounded ten-fold. Needless to say, parents tend to stay constantly busy, trying to focus on it all, in a society that never seems to stop. Sometimes focusing on other things tend to take attention away from the children in a household. When that happens, children can begin to suddenly exhibit behaviors that seem out of character—like frequent meltdowns, clinginess, or waking up at night. These changes can be puzzling, but more often than not, they signal that your child is seeking more attention. The tricky part is identifying these behaviors and knowing how to respond Here are signs for parents that your child might need more of your attention.
According to the experts, in a recent interview with Parents.com, children often don’t vocalize their need for attention directly. Instead, they express it through actions that can be frustrating or challenging for parents to manage. To help clarify what these behaviors may mean and how to address them, we turned to child therapists for expert insights. Below are nine signs that your child needs you to focus-in solely on them.
1. Yelling and Irritability: If your child is suddenly loud or whiny, it may be a call for more attention, especially when they repeatedly interrupt or raise their voice.
2. Defiance: Increased rebelliousness or refusal to follow rules can be another sign. Children may act out to gain your focus.
3. Repetitive Questions: If your child repeatedly asks questions they already know the answer to, it might be because they simply want more interaction.
4. Withdrawal: Sometimes, children who need more attention may become withdrawn, avoiding family activities and isolating themselves.
5. Tantrums and Meltdowns: These outbursts, especially in younger children, often signal frustration or a need for emotional support.
6. Physical Complaints: Complaints of headaches, tummy aches, or loss of appetite can sometimes be manifestations of seeking attention.
7. Regressive Behaviors: A child suddenly acting younger than their age, such as wanting help with tasks they could do independently, may be asking for more comfort and closeness.
8. Ignoring Corrections: If your child repeatedly ignores your guidance, it could be an attempt to engage you, even if it’s through negative behavior.
9. Increased Clinginess: If your child suddenly becomes extra needy, sticking close to you at all times, this may be a plea for more focus and connection.
Just what can parents do to balance life responsibilities while at the same time, give their children the attention they deserve?
Well, expert Melissa Legere, LMFT, clinical director and co-founder of California Behavioral Health, suggests that parents should, schedule regular “check-ins” with their children. “Have regular one-on-one time, even if it’s short. You don’t need grand gestures—even simple, everyday interactions can make a big difference.”
Emily Groben, BCBA, board certified behavior analyst, parent coach, and founder of Blue Bolt Pediatric Care, LLC tells Parents.com that parents should find a way to praise positive behavior on the regular.
“If they push their chair in, praise them for it,” she told the outlet. “You can say something like, ‘I love how you pushed in your chair so carefully!'” Positive attention is crucial.
Although this one is, for some, hard to do, disconnect from devices! Limit distractions by putting down phones or tablets when spending time with your child, showing them that you’re present and fully engaged.
Legere advises, “And then use this time to get to know them better and show them that you’re here, present, and always ready to support them.”
By adding these suggestions and tips to your parenting toolbox, in the end, this will foster a stronger bond and emotional security for both of you. Responding to your child’s attention-seeking behavior with empathy and understanding, while also managing your own stress and distractions, will build memories between you and your children that will last a lifetime, not to mention that you will unquestionably set them up for success as adults!
