A love of learning should be fostered for life. Yet, usually during the teen years, that love tends to wain. However, new research is shedding light on effective strategies that can help parents reignite and energize their teens’ passion for learning.
“Parents have as much influence as teachers and as peers do, even in adolescence when it seems like they would rather eat nails than have a conversation with you,” Jenny Anderson, a journalist who pioneered coverage on the science of learning at Quartz, said in a recent interview with Good Housekeeping.
“With toddlers, you know you have a lot of influence because you’re pointing things out, you can explain things to them and you’re making sense of the world for them because they’re teeny-tiny,” Anderson continued. “With teenagers, it doesn’t look the same. You can’t explain things to them anymore because they think they know it all.”
Anderson and fellow educational expert, Rebecca Winthrop, combined efforts and researched ways to better help parents reignite their teens love of learning. They compiled their research efforts into the book, The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better.
Following are their suggestions as to how parents can get their teens engaged and back in the learning game.
Take a back seat
Allow your teen to drive the bus in regards to their education. Be their for support and help; however, they must be in control.
“Help them explore the thing without telling them the thing, because that’s the journey they want to be on,” Anderson said. “They want to be discovering for themselves.”
Winthrop adds, “It’s really important for parents to stop trying to lead, rather than follow, students’ interests. As long as their hobbies aren’t hurting themselves or others, be encouraging. Ask about it, learn about it, lean into it, because interests are so crucial for love of learning.”
Lead with the good
It may seem that you are already doing this, but more often than not, parents want to tackle the hardest subjects that teens are struggling with. “Leading with the good,” or subjects that they are excelling in, gives them a sense of confidence and will allow you both to transition into the harder stuff without a lot of resistance.
The book states that not leading with the good “… would be like asking us about our most annoying work colleague or irritating project every day.”
Stop nagging
Nagging a teen to do anything definitely does not work. Of course, when if comes to education, it seems as if that makes things even worse.
“When we nag, we’re shutting down the part of their brain that needs to be activated to solve the problem you’re nagging for,” Anderson said in her interview.
Reverse judgement
No one wants to feel judged. Avoid “judging” or having a “judgemental tone” when you are talking to your teen about their school work. This is the easiest way for them to shut completely down all together.
Don’t take the thing they love away as punishment
From time to time, punishments are unquestionably needed. We all know that. However, don’t take away the things they love the most as a part of their punishment. That can do more harm than good.
“They need their interests,” Winthrop comments. “They’re learning all sorts of skills in their interests, and they’re learning how to learn skills in their interests. It gives them energy. And eventually that energy does spill over into other areas.”
By understanding the factors that influence motivation and creating a supportive, stimulating environment at home, parents can play a pivotal role in fostering a renewed sense of curiosity and academic enthusiasm in their teens. Which, in turn, sets them up for a lifetime love of learning!
