Regrettably, there isn’t a definitive parenting manual for effectively guiding children through the challenges and triumphs of growing up to be successful, self-assured, and resilient adults. Throughout the journey, parents will encounter twists and turns and are bound to make errors. Expert advice highlights certain mistakes that parents who raise resilient and successful children never do. Keep reading to discover essential tips that you will want to add to your parenting toolbox right away!
No Coddling
Coddling children makes them less likely to develop traits like resilience and perseverance. By coddling, parents are setting their children up to crumble under stress as teens and then eventually as adults. According to research, coddled children don’t necessarily have the confidence to “bounce back from failures” or to take “calculated risks”.
Bestselling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki, suggests that parents should, Set reasonable expectations and hold them accountable in a recent interview with CNBC.com. Wojcicki wrote for CNBC Make It in 2022, “The more you trust your children to do things on their own, the more empowered they’ll be.”
Don’t punish failures
Failing isn’t a bad thing. Failure is a learning opportunity. Punishing children for making a mistake or “failing,” sends the wrong message according to psychotherapist Amy Morin. If you punish your children because they make a mistake or fail, you are telling them that, “failure is something to be ashamed of, rather than a temporary setback you can learn from.”
“The most accomplished people reached their goals by failing along the way,” Morin wrote for CNBC Make It in 2023. “Kids who do well later in life focus their attention on what went wrong and how they could fix it. They have growth mindsets that help them turn failures into positive learning experiences.”
Don’t be pessimistic
The world is a constant rollercoaster of ups and downs. It is easy sometimes for adults to become pessimistic, but when you are setting an example for a child, remember, to try and see that the glass is half-full instead of half-empty.
Educational psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba told CNBC Make It in a previous interview that, “our beliefs and attitudes spill over to our kids.”
Research shows that, “excessive negativity can cause children and adults alike to give up more easily when the going gets tough, rather than working to create a solution.”
Next time you or your child face a temporary setback, just remember, you got this!
Kids ask a lot of questions, don’t get annoyed
Any parent knows that children seem to have a hidden, never-ending list of questions that they will ask all day every day. Don’t get frustrated or annoyed. Instead, encourage them to ask questions. This in turn, encourages curiosity. Children learn by asking.
Bestselling author and researcher Dr. Kumar Mehta previously wrote for CNBC Make It that, “Parents of the most accomplished people always make learning new things a priority. And because they teach their kids to embrace curiosity, one thing they take very seriously is answering questions.”
To mix things up, turn their questions into a game! Have an afternoon of only 20-questions! This will be a win-win for everyone involved. They will get to ask their 20 questions and after they are done, you can move on to something else.
Keep calm and don’t overreact!
Making sure that you as a parent maintain a certain level of calmness is germane to ensuring that your children one, feel confident about coming to you no matter what. Whether it is a bad grade, not getting on a sports team, etc. they know that if they come to you with their “failure,” you won’t explode.
Remember, kids imitate your behavior. You are modeling for them what and who they will become!
