Parenting is a tricky business, for there is no proven way to do it right. Researchers have been studying different parenting styles for years now. What they have discovered is that different parenting styles affect children in different ways.
According to psychologist Diana Baumrind, parenting can be categorized into three major types: authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive. Uninvolved parents’ parenting style was later categorized as “neglectful.”
Ever since researchers categorized parenting, people have defined their own parenting style and garnered a cult following. Some of those styles include attachment parenting, which is a form of parenting that starts from childbirth, and free-range parenting, which is more suited for older kids.
Read on to find out how different parenting styles affect how children’s attitudes are shaped.
AUTHORITATIVE PARENTING
Authoritative parents are highly involved in their children’s lives. However, it does not mean that they are overly strict towards their kids. These parents use positive discipline approach for parenting and as a result, their offsprings do well in academics as well as their social lives.
Dr. Baumrind believes it is the most successful parenting styles since “high demands” of parents are often met with “high responsiveness.” Since the parents are aware of their children’s needs, they are always ready to help them meet their goals.
Lisa Damour, the author of “Under Pressure” and a Ph.D., says children of authoritative parents are “more likely to enjoy positive relationships with their peers” and they perform well in school. These children go on to be independent and self-sufficient in life, unlike children raised by authoritarian, permissive, or neglectful approach.
However, authoritative parents tend to set high standards for their kids. This may not always lead children to do well and they might end up feeling pressurized due to high expectations set for them.
PERMISSIVE PARENTING
In this approach, parents tend to be highly liberal to their kids. They often see themselves as their kids’ friend rather than a parent.
Being liberal does not mean your children will sort things out on their own without ruining their lives. Children of permissive parents are more likely to perform poorly in school than the children and lack a social and emotional understanding.
Even though permissive parents have a liberal way to raise their kids, it does not mean that they are not there for their kids. They are involved in their children’s lives, just not in a traditional way.
There are proven downsides to being a permissive parent. Since such parents have a hard time setting limits for their kids when the situation calls for it, they are tolerant of their kids’ bad behavior and tantrums.
AUTHORITARIAN PARENTING
Authoritarian parenting is not the ideal way to raise your children. Afterall, high expectations should be reciprocated with nurturing, which is not seen in this type of parenting.
These type of parents can resort to severe punishment if their demands are not met by their kids. As a result, children might develop behavioral problems.
According to Dr. Baumrind, this type of parenting can be categorized by “high demand” and “low responsiveness.” Authoritarian parents value obedience over anything, and when their expectations are not met, they resort to punishment.
Lower self-esteem, depression, and development of negative character are some of the main downsides of authoritarian parenting.
SO WHAT IS THE IDEAL WAY OF RAISING YOUR KID?
No matter how liberal, authoritarian, or authoritative you are, children will always be influenced by factors other than their parents. It all boils down to being there for your children without making them feel pressured or unloved.
Always listen to what your children have to say. Communication is an indispensable factor that makes or breaks parents’ relationship with their offspring. Talk to them, even if it is about subjects that you are not comfortable with.
Be liberal, but teach them how to distinguish between right and wrong. For instance, if you catch your child watching, tell them how sex is not like that in real life and it’s all just for entertainment. Also, let them know how porn can dull their mind.
Be authoritative, but for all the right things and be there for your kids when they need you.
In the end, it all boils down to how you make your children feel and how they react to it. Parenthood is a learning experience for you, too. Make the most of out of it without letting your children down.
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