Like any other mother-to-be surrounded by ecstatic people, Jill Scott was persuaded to believe that motherhood is one of the most beautiful things on this side of heaven. The R&B singer was informed about the joys of breastfeeding and told that her little one would cling to her with all tenderness. It wasn’t until Jett was born that Scott realized how misinformed she was.
“I imagined nursing my baby while wind chimes clinked outside. I would glow and feel beautiful. My mother would help me. My grandmother would school me, friends would be on deck to support me and my child’s father/my husband would bring me tea and love us both,” said Jill of the perception she had before becoming a mother during an exclusive interview with Madame Noire.
The star went on to explain that her reality was quite different from her fantasy. “In actuality, my mother was across the country caring for my sweet grandma Blue,” shared the star. “My friends were busy with full, demanding lives and my son’s father, well… we could hardly bare breathing in the same room. After 36 hours of labor and a vaginal birth, I was sore, exhausted, hormonally unbalanced, emotionally taxed and deeply afraid to be alone. I never felt more alone in my life.”
It wasn’t until she realized that her depression was causing her to fail Jett as a mother that Jill decided to make a change. “I had to choose my child,” the singer revealed. “While my baby slept, I cried one more ‘good’ cry. I felt better. I needed rest. I asked friends who loved us to come anytime they could, for an hour, so I could sleep. They did. I felt better. I hired a loving, mature, woman with three adult children, a southern background and the skin the color of rich fertile soil to be OUR nanny. She gave me breaks and a chance to heal. The crying nights became easier. My patience blossomed…We felt better.”
So what is Jill’s advice to new moms, five years after giving birth to her son?
“Motherhood is the most demanding job created.
Motherhood is not a dream or a fable etched in the mind.
Nothing is simple when you love someone this much. Nothing is neat when you’re this needed
Life doesn’t stop because you’ve given birth.
A new life begins and you own it and make it yours.”
Jett is Jill Scott and ex-boyfriend Lil’ John Roberts’ only child together.