If you are parenting a teenager, you know that conflict often comes with the territory. One moment things feel calm, and the next, a small disagreement can quickly turn into a bigger moment. Sometimes parents choose to let certain issues slide in the interest of picking their battles. Other times, experts say stepping in and addressing the issue directly can be the more effective approach.
Below are four teenager conflicts that experts say are major red flags and need to be addressed immediately:
1. When teens don’t keep up with hygiene
“These can signal early signs of declining mental health and can be warning signs of depression,” says Dr. Cari Alvarez, PhD, a licensed child psychologist and a part of Harvard University’s teaching team in a recent interview with Parade.com.
If teens aren’t showering or keeping their clothes clean, that is a major red flag and needs to be addressed immediately. Experts stress the importance of approaching the conversation with sensitivity, focusing on the benefits of proper hygiene rather than drawing attention to the behavior in a harsh or critical way.
2. When teens frequently misplace things and are continually late and missing deadlines
“Underestimating how long things will take, or not being able to hold down a thoughtful conversation about a single topic, can be signs of difficulties with executive functioning and could point to potential ADHD,” Dr. Alvarez told the outlet.
Offering solutions can help, such as teaching teens how to make checklists, use reminders, or build routines. This keeps the focus on problem-solving rather than criticism. If ADHD is a concern, contacting your child’s pediatrician for further evaluation is recommended.
3. When you and your teen disagree about a friend or a partner
“Frequent arguments with parents over the same friend or romantic partner, comments like ‘This is why so-and-so doesn’t like you,’ or ‘So-and-so says you’re controlling,’ could signal a potentially toxic relationship where the individual is trying to alienate the teen from their caregivers for potentially dangerous or unsafe purposes,” Dr. Alvarez warned.
Disagreements about friendships or romantic relationships can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting a teen. This may be uncomfortable for parents; however, it is essential that the conversation happens if it needs to.
4. When your teen is skipping school
“Arguments regarding teens not wanting to go to school, unexcused absences or truancy can signal a potentially dangerous context in school or bullying,” Dr. Alvarez said to the outlet.
This is important because of the various layers of consequences for both parent and child. If your child is skipping school, this should be addressed immediately. Parents face criminal charges, fines, and even jail time if their child skips school. For the child, skipping school can prohibit them from graduation and getting the proper education that they need for the future.
