When it comes to raising high achievers, many parents focus on test scores, GPAs, and extra tutoring to boost their academic success and even their IQ. But according to one academic expert, the real secret to long-term success isn’t about IQ at all. Executive functioning is the real key to your child’s academic success.
Executive Function skills help kids concentrate, organize, and regulate their emotions. Mastering these skills are the true markers of future success. “When you learn these skills early on, you’ll be better at handling responsibilities and forming meaningful connections,” Ana Homayoun explained in an article she wrote for CNBC.
Homayoun suggested that focusing only on grades and accolades to motivate children academically can backfire on parents. Using this particular reward system for academic success can put a strain on family relationships and also create a tendency to leave kids ill-equipped to manage real-world challenges because there is no reward system. Instead, the academic expert suggests that parents focus on creating supportive systems that encourage independence.
As students struggle to manage assignments, track deadlines, or even locate key materials, the expert encourages families to develop personalized organization systems. “A quick way to check the effectiveness of the systems you’ve established together is to ask your child if they can find a document or file they need in under one minute,” she advised. “If they are struggling to locate it, talk about what you can do to make their systems work better for them.”
As today’s kids juggle school, sports, extracurriculars, and social media, they need to build routine and accountability as the demands that often exceed what their developing brains can handle. Establishing simple daily routines can help. Setting aside time to review the week ahead, for example, helps children balance academics and activities while building self-regulation.
Sometimes, all they need is the gentle accountability of someone nearby. “Sometimes, kids just need the accountability of someone nearby to motivate them to start or finish tough tasks,” the expert said.
Homayoun stresses that parents need to switch from nagging children when they think that they are procrastinating to helping them find solutions. When parents mistake procrastination for laziness, it can lead to unnecessary conflict. “What we often call ‘procrastination’ is actually task avoidance — a task initiation issue, not a motivation problem,” the advisor noted.
Instead of nagging, families can create rituals that cue the brain to start working such as tidying the workspace together or making a small list of to-dos to build momentum.
And as we all know, rest, stress, and regulation is key when it comes to how one will perform, especially academically. Sleep and stress play a huge role in how well kids can focus and follow through. Research shows teens need eight to ten hours of rest each night for healthy brain development. The expert suggests creating an “emotional toolkit” with three to five go-to stress relievers, like listening to music, drawing, or spending time with a pet.
Of course, kids mimic what parents do; therefore, you need to model the behavior.
“Kids are watching how we handle stress, manage our time and adapt when plans change,” the advisor said. Showing adaptability, or “buoyancy,” as they call it, helps kids see that success isn’t about perfection but about how you recover when things go wrong.
“When parents model adaptability, kids learn to do the same,” the expert added. “Make sure you’re showing them what success actually looks like.”
