Academic intelligence is unquestionably important for parents to foster in their children. However, something that is equally as valuable for children is fostering emotional intelligence as well. Emotional intelligence in a child is one of the most essential responsibilities a parent can take on. Want to know how you can raise an emotionally intelligent child? Well, keep reading, according to the experts at Parents.com, here’s how.
Before we get into the “how” let’s define “emotional intelligence,” just to make sure that we are all on the same page.
According to Amy Morin for Parents.com, emotional intelligence, (EQ), is “a person’s ability to understand, interpret, express, and manage their own emotions and their ability to navigate interpersonal relationships with awareness, empathy, and an appreciation for the emotional experiences of others—is a crucial set of skills that develop over time, and that parents can help kids learn at any age. It allows them to develop empathy, regulate their emotions, and develop the social skills that will help them navigate life.”
Now that we have a great working definition of what emotional intelligence is, let’s delve into some tips that will help you foster emotional intelligence in your child, which of course, is something that sets a great foundation for a lifetime.
Use feelings to label emotions.
If they are having trouble recognizing just how they are feeling, arm the with the words to do so.
Morin suggests that, “You can help your child by putting a name to their emotions and teaching them how to name their emotions using feeling words.”
“Emotional words such as ‘angry,’ ‘upset,’ ‘shy’ and ‘painful’ can all build a vocabulary to express feelings. Don’t forget to share the words for positive emotions, too, such as ‘joy,’ ‘excited,’ ‘thrilled’ and ‘hopeful.”
Demonstrate and show empathy.
Children, no matter what age, tend to immolate the actions of their parents. If you demonstrate and show empathy to others, including your child, when they are having big feelings, then the will tend to do so as well.
“Showing your child that you value how they feel and that you want to understand how they feel on the inside can help make expressing their big emotions through unhelpful or inappropriate behaviors less appealing,” Morin says.
Model appropriate ways to express feelings.
Going along with “demonstrating and showing empathy,” modeling appropriate ways to express feelings is imperative for parents to raise emotionally intelligent children. Again, if you do it, so will they.
“Studies show that emotionally intelligent parents are likelier to adopt parenting styles that are conducive to raising emotionally intelligent children. So, make it a habit to clearly focus on building your skills to be an effective role model for your child.”
Teach them coping skills.
Whether it is taking deep breaths, writing, exercising, or whatever helps you cope with your big emotions might also help your child. Or better yet, help them to find their own special thing that calms them down. Teach children how to deal with emotions in a healthy way will ultimately help to make them healthier and happier adults.
“You might also help your child create a kit that helps them regulate their feelings. A coloring book, a favorite joke book, soothing music, and lotions that smell good are a few items that can help engage their senses and calm their emotions. Put the items in a special box that they decorate. Then, when they’re upset, remind them to go get their calm-down kit and practice using their tools to manage their emotions.”
Make emotional intelligence a long-term goal.
Building emotional intelligence is a long-tem goal. There will be ups and downs for children as they grow from little’s to adulthood. Know that there is always room for improvement and regrouping.
“As they grow older, they’re likely to face obstacles that will challenge their skills. So, make it a goal to incorporate skill-building into your everyday life,” Morin says. “With your ongoing support and guidance, your child can develop the emotional intelligence and mental strength they’ll need to maintain healthy relationships and thrive throughout their life.”
Remember, this is a marathon and not a race!
