Dealing with intense emotions can be challenging for adults, but for children, it can feel even more overwhelming. Mastering emotional regulation as a child is no small feat.
Fortunately, the experts at Motherly.com have developed four strategies to help parents guide their children toward better emotional management, especially with the school year approaching.
“Emotional regulation is more than just a parenting challenge—it’s a fundamental life skill, part of what we call ‘executive functions,” Janie Kokakis, a Speech Language Pathologist said in an article that she wrote for Motherly.com. “These skills help our children (and us) manage thoughts, emotions, and actions, paving the way for success in life, school, relationships and beyond.”
Kokakis goes on to say that, “As a speech language pathologist with years of experience working with families, I’ve seen firsthand how crucial it is to empower parents with practical strategies to support their children’s development of these skills. That’s why I’ve developed a simple four-step process to help parents foster emotional regulation and executive function in their children.”
Check out these four techniques by Kokakis that are sure to be a big boost to your parenting toolbox for both you and your children for right now and beyond.
Be Positive
“Children who struggle with emotional regulation often hear more negative comments than positive ones,” Kokakis wrote. “It’s not because we don’t love them or appreciate their efforts; it’s because we’re human and we react to the chaos around us. But meaningful praise can make all the difference.”
Little words of encouragement in the midst of emotional turmoil tends to go a long way. Positive words help children to redirect the negativity and turn it into something positive. If they catch themselves in the midst of an emotional moment and self-correct, that’s even better! They unquestionably need to be praised for that moment!
Tweak and adjust your language to build skills
“Next, let’s talk about language tweaks. Instead of telling your child step-by-step what to do, try using declarative language. For instance, rather than saying, ‘Get dressed,’ say, ‘I notice you’re still in your pajamas.’ This acknowledges their current state and prompts them to take action.”
This will unquestionably help your child to also develop their critical processing skills as well.
Use visual cues to aid in achieving independence
It is not good for you to have to constantly “tell” when you can “show” your child what he or she should be doing.
“Children with lagging working memory, a common issue among those who struggle with emotional regulation, often benefit from visual cues. Working memory is like the brain’s sticky note, temporarily holding and manipulating information.,” Kokakis writes. “Create a schedule outlining their morning routine, complete with pictures of them doing each task. This helps them remember what needs to be done and gives them a sense of ownership over their actions.”
This will eliminate your frustration of having to constantly say the same thing to someone who may or may not be taking it all in, avoiding an emotional meltdown for all involved.
Nurture social skills and awareness
“Children who struggle to control their emotions and impulses often find themselves losing friends by second grade. It’s not because they’re bad kids; it’s because they haven’t yet developed the self-awareness and perspective-taking skills needed to navigate social situations.”
Encourage your child to name their emotions and discuss “why they do or say x, when y happens.” By talking about their emotions and feelings, you are helping them verbalize things that are on the inside that they may not even realize.
By helping children emotionally regulate as young people, you are establishing a positively healthy emotional foundation for them that is an essential life skill. By the time they are adults, healthily navigating emotions will be a breeze.
Photo: Adobe Stock Images; Pexels.com
